Adoption Abolitionists:

You have good reasons for calling for an end to adoption.

Yes, we need a clean cut end to adoption as we know it. There's just too much corruption and injustice. I get it. I support this notion. However, I'm sure there are very few in this adoption reform movement who will 100% back you. Most of us hesitate to say the there is never under any circumstance when adoption is acceptable. It's just plain true. Adoption has benefits under the right circumstances.

So the extremists on both ends of the spectrum - adoption is happy-happy-happy always vs adoption is nothing but misery and hell always, well, these two groups make the rest of us look good. And we give thanks for that. We like looking good.

We don't like looking at ourselves with the razor sharp vision of pure honesty. It can be an ugly messy business. If you are uncomfortable with accusations of being full of "white privilege" take a deep breath and look at that. Why? Is there some truth you need to address? Are you complicit in denying others their civil rights? Have you participated in causing or ignorantly contributing to someone else's pain? Perhaps you need to look deeper in your heart to find compassion.

If you don't like hearing that you are an angry bitter adoption abolitionist, take a deep breath and look at that. Maybe acceptance needs a chair at your table. Can you accept the happiness of others who have found a better adoption experience than the one you're stuck in? Can you offer support to those working hard on your same goals? Can you help them hear you without yelling? Without causing them to feel bad when perhaps it is your pain that needs attention?

I hope this isn't too preachy. I just want folks to get along and play nice and I want room at the table for everyone. All people deserve a right to investigate their idenity and heritage without legal restrictions. Adoption reform is needed. Let's all work together. Now!

I want change before another person dies longing or even simply wondering what it would have been to know the family they lost due to adoption. No more regrets people! Let's make it happen.


Try this for Grade School
(K-12) Students:

Alternate Family Tree Project

It's Adoption Friendly!


Use your printer and your favorite 8.5 x 11 paper

Or Copy the files and use them at your favorite copy shop to make bigger poster size versions.

Four 4 inch Mandalas


One 8 inch Mandala


Or email me and I'll give you directions for making really really big ones. Also, you can take these files and get wild with a fun program like photoshop or (which is different from Paint).


Print it.

Color it in.

And make it your own.

Then share  it!


This site is a work of heart
and a work in progress.
Come back for more soon!